It’s Really Not About Me #44

While scrolling through social media today I came across a quote that said “God can use our simple words in profound ways.” I’m not sure who the author of the quote is, but if I did know I would send that person a thank you note, because those words made me think about the many reasons that I love expressing myself through writing so much.

I recently had a conversation with my mother about why I continue to share my thoughts, feelings and life from my perspective, if you know me then you know that my mother is my sounding board, my listening ear, my advice giver, let’s just say that my mother serves a tremendous amount of roles in my life. I know that she will always be one thousand percent truthful with me even if she has to risk hurting my feelings. Ultimately I always appreciate her brutal honesty. During our conversation, I was explaining to Momma that my reason for continuing the blog has become something that even I don’t fully understand sometimes. I feel very deeply, strongly compelled to share my thoughts and feelings. My mother is the one human being who I seek validation from, her opinion on any and every thing I do means more to me than that of any other person. I said to her “Momma, does it sound crazy that I feel that sharing my perspective on life is what God wants me to do and is leading me to do?” Momma’s answer was short, she very matter-of-factly said “No, it doesn’t sound crazy.” After blogging sporadically for nearly three years and always being very apprehensive about posting very personal feelings to share with anyone in the world who chooses to read what I post, it was my mother’s validation that I needed to feel comfortable with just letting go and letting God use me for his will. I think that writing for this blog has allowed me to go through a lot of personal growth but I realize that is not the only reason that God has led me to do this.

Since I’ve been sharing my perspective on this blog I am always amazed first of all when people tell me they read it regularly and second when someone tells me that something I said within one of my posts helped them in a positive way. I know many of you amongst my loyal audience are people who have known me since I came from my mother’s womb, you all know that I am a very introverted, quiet, borderline shy young woman. I have trouble with accepting compliments, because I feel like I’m just being Zena and it’s not necessary to compliment me for that. Now, that doesn’t mean that I want you all to stop complimenting me, it just means that I don’t always know how to reply to your compliments, because honestly they sort of make me uncomfortable and make my heart happy all at the same time, I’m sure that sounds weird. I consider myself the far opposite of an attention seeker, but when someone tells me that something I have shared has made an impact on them and the way they think about life and/or the things happening around the world, well, I just don’t have the words in my vocabulary that can truly express exactly how hearing that or reading comments that express that makes me feel, it really means so much to me. I believe that making a positive impact on others is why God has led me to share my perspective and testimony about the things that I am going through or have gone through and gotten to the other side of.

This has become one of those posts that I think I will start calling my testimonial perspective posts, because it has really made me think a lot about life while writing it. It’s one of those posts that I am a little apprehensive about sharing online but I’ll share anyway. For many of my adult years so far, l have spent a lot of time thinking about and questioning my purpose and my place in this world, you all know, you read it, I am always writing about finding purpose and walking in purpose. As the tears roll while I am writing these words I realize that maybe part of God’s purpose for my life is to help others who are going through life’s trials, to look at the brighter side of things. I know from my own personal experiences that when you’re going through something difficult it can be extremely hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I’ve learned that if you just keep on walking there are always brighter days ahead. I realize that there are so many people in this world who have been through so much more than I have and are going through so much more than I do on a daily basis, but I know that God has led me to share my life in words because just one of his children needs the words that he has given me to express to the world.

That’s just my perspective!💜

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There Is Triumphant Strength On The Other Side Of The Storm #43

He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength . They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40: 29 & 31NLT

My goal for the month of August 2018 has been to post something that I deem meaningful every Thursday in the month, well it is only the second Thursday in the month and I’ve been racking my brain all week trying to come up with something meaningful to say today. Lately my prayer in regards to this blog has been “God please give me the words that you want me to give to others.” Earlier this week I literally found myself saying “God, what’s up, are you going to give me something to say to my blog readers, because I am drawing a blank, you’ve given me the mindset to post something once a week this month, so you have to help me out.”

Recently I have been dealing with having severe abdominal pain and no one who has achieved M.D. behind their name has been able to figure out what the exact cause is, so I’ve been feeling not at my best and procrastinating for most of the day. I said to myself “Okay Zee, you’re going to have something posted by noon today,” at noon I was still drawing a blank and had no idea of anything I was going to say in this post, so I decided to take a nap and thought maybe God will give me the words after I sleep on it for a little while. At 1:30, I was awake and a bit more enegerized than before my nap, but my mind was still blank as far as this post was concerned. All of a sudden it became real cloudy outside and started to thunder, you know, it was one of those pop-up thunderstorms that seems to come from out of nowhere and I thought alright its about to rain and writer’s block is still laying on me strong, maybe God has nothing for me to share today, maybe it is just not in his plan for me to post something today, so I’m going back to sleep.

FBD32AB6-CF1F-4D1B-8E9B-E1D463494EF6Now yall, I always wonder about people who say that God talks to them, but I think my mind has changed about that. I’ve been thinking about, no, honestly dwelling on all the aches and pains and sickness that I have had to endure in my life, but I had decided not to write about that because I don’t want my perspective to turn into my testimony. At that point in the day when I thought I had decided not to attempt to post anything today, God said “Zena, girl, now you know life doesn’t go your way, what I say goes, you are writing something today.” and he gave me the words/phrase your pain is the road to triumphant strength and there is triumphant strength on the other side of the storm. Scared into obedience, that was me. I started writing and couldn’t stop, so if this turns into the longest Perspective By Zena T. post that I have shared thus far just know that I am being obedient.

As I said in Perspective #42 The Road To Loving Me, one of the things that I have questioned more than any other about me and my life is “why did I have to be born with Spina Bifida?” and “why do I have to have so many medical difficulties?” Having been born with Spina Bifida has not at all been the most awful thing in my life, as a matter of fact at times although I feel like its a bit selfish of me, but I find myself thanking God and being grateful because I don’t have as many health problems as most people who were born with Spina Bifida. I’ve never considered it a curse or placed blame on anyone because I was born with Spina Bifida, but throughout my life I have found myself very often asking God, why he chose to make being born with a “disability” and having to deal with being sick so often a part of my journey through this life? In the last year and a half with all the reflection and introspection that I have been doing I have been trying to not allow Satan to gain a grasp on my left hand while loosening God’s hold on my right hand (see perspective #35). I will honestly confess that in the last few weeks there have been several times that Satan’s strong hold took over me and had me once again asking God “why am I having to endure all this pain, why did you choose me for this?”

If you have read any one of my previous posts then you know that God has made me realize that there is a lesson in every trial that he sends me through, so I have taught myself instead of asking “why” start asking God, what is the lesson in this trial, what is it that you are trying to show me by presenting me with this difficulty or this difficult time in my life? What lesson is embedded in this experience? I have never thought of myself as a strong person, mentally, emotionally and surely not physically, but now that I have had thirty-six years to go through asking “why?” now that God has given me a chance to reflect upon all the surgeries and everything else that I have been through I realize those things in part have shaped who I am, how I think about so many things and how I see this life.

A27A90B6-6A31-4534-A513-CDE402576696In this moment I have come to realize and believe that God has been trying to show me that I am much stronger than I have always seen myself or thought that I am. God made me strong because he knew that I would have to endure a lot of pain and it would take that pain for me to see my strength. I guess that’s the lesson that I am supposed to learn from my current and past pain. There is triumphant strength to be rewarded at the end of each storm life brings my way. Wow! What lessons you can
learn from just being obedient, listening and doing what God is telling you to do.

That’s just my perspective!💜

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The Road To Loving Me #42

matteo-paganelli-157464-unsplashI always have a really hard time when God lays something very personal on my heart to share with my Perspective By Zena T. readers and this has been one of the most difficult perspectives for me to put into words thus far. As always I pray that God has given me the words that he wants me to share with others, even if I don’t fully understand why he fills my mind and heart with certain words to share.

A couple days ago I saw a snippet of an interview that the entertainer Bobby Brown did recently, the interviewer asked him the question “what’s one lesson that you’ve learned that has aided in you being able to move on from all the bad times in your life?” Bobby Brown’s reply to this question was “learning to love myself.” I thought that was a very profound statement. Hearing those four words made me think about how the journey towards completely loving one’s self is not always an easy journey and I started to reflect upon how I feel about myself. I am at a place in life where I am able to admit that learning to love myself completely has been a gradual, endless process that at times goes at snail’s pace with many setbacks. Honestly right now at thirty-six years old I think I am just beginning to accept myself yet I am still trying to figure out who I am. I’m not even sure that makes any sense. There are many things that I love about the person that I am but after reflecting upon it I am just not sure I honestly love myself as wholeheartedly as one should.

nick-fewings-532590-unsplashPlease don’t get me wrong, I’m not at all saying that I don’t love myself, let me repeat that, I am not at all saying that I don’t love myself, I just feel like there are parts of me that are easier for me to accept and love than other parts are. I think I’m a great girl who has a good heart with a big capacity for love, caring, kindness, compassion and many other good characteristics. The reason that I say I’m not sure if I love myself as wholeheartedly as one should is because I always find myself asking God “why” in regards to who I am and my life. Why can’t I do this or that? Why can’t I be like this person or that person? Why did I have to be born with Spina Bifida? Why do I have to have so many health trials? Why am I such a deeply sensitive person? Why am I antisocial? Why can’t I be a better daughter, sister and friend? I’m not downing myself and I don’t want anyone to think that, I’m just telling you what God has placed on my heart and being truthful with myself and anyone reading this.

I have come to realize that there are parts of myself that I’ve always had a great deal of difficulty accepting therefore I am not able to thoroughly love all parts of me. I always feel like although there are things I don’t like and/or love about me and my life I am grateful for my life, but I wonder if having problems with parts of me ultimately makes me an ungrateful person, which isn’t who I want to be. I am beginning to recognize the fact that I dwell too much on my imperfections and not enough on the good parts of who I am. I admire confident people who seem to be in a place where they have learned to wholeheartedly love themselves, imperfections & all and are completely comfortable walking through life in the skin that God placed them in. I pray that God continues to work with me on my journey toward completely loving myself and allows me to some day look in the mirror and wholeheartedly love the person looking back at me and who he made me to be.

That’s just my perspective!💜

Life Is Immeasurably Precious! #41

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Psalms 139:13-15

Right now its 11pm, I am sitting on the bed thinking and feeling some things that I needed to put into words and for reasons I have yet to fully understand I feel compelled to share my thoughts and feelings with others, maybe my thoughts and feelings will help you in some way.

It seems like every day lately I am hearing of the death of someone who has at some point been a part of my journey through life. I have said it before and will surely say it again but experiencing my father’s death when I was sixteen years old changed the way that I think about life and death. I think that although we know that death is the most inevitable part of life it is always heartbreaking when we have to face the fact that we will no longer have our loved ones in this life with us, yes we’ll always have them in spirit but knowing that doesn’t always make you feel better, especially when you are in the thick of the never ending process of grieving. Most people see the death of a young person or someone who was not ill and seemingly healthy as an untimely or sudden death but I don’t think that way any longer I believe that on the day of your birth God has already planned just how long he will give you time in this life, unfortunately that time is longer for some than it is for others.

In the last week and a half the earthly journey ended for four people who were once a part of my trek through this life. I am hoping and praying that the phone doesn’t soon ring with news of another death. I thought that I had reached a point in life where hearing of death really didn’t affect me, but I’ve been proven wrong on that in the last few days. Although I am forever grateful for the lives of those four people and all my loved ones who have been called to their eternal home, I am feeling a bit melancholy because the realization that I will never see those people in this life again has hit me and I haven’t learned how to turn off that feeling. Having so much death happening around me has made me earnestly think about how immensely precious the time is that God gives us on this planet, on this side of life.

Last week I celebrated my birthday by having dinner with my small circle of close family and friends, none of them know it because I didn’t say anything, but I set at the table with them near tears thinking of how thankful, grateful and blessed I am because God not only allowed me to still have breath in my body to celebrate another year of life, but he allowed me to share time with some of the people that I love most in this world. The love that my family gives me is a blessing that I honestly don’t always feel worthy of. They love me through all situations and circumstances, flaws and all. There aren’t any words in any dictionary that I could use to describe how blessed I feel because God allowed me to be born into such an amazingly awesome family. They are my most cherished gems.

I think about my family, and the many other amazing people God has placed throughout my life, and I realize just how precious life is, and how immeasurably blessed the time God has given me thus far in this life has been. My heart is so full in this moment because all my ups and downs, good times & bad times have made me realize just how precious life truly is and I thank God for that realization.

That’s just my perspective!💜

Blogging Milestone ~ A Note Of Thanks #40

leone-venter-559377-unsplashI can’t believe that I’ve reached 40 posts. When I first started this blog I honestly had no idea what I was getting myself into. I just wanted a venue to utilize and improve my writing skill and to share my thoughts on various topics with whoever chose to read them. It has been much more difficult than I ever thought it would be. It seems like every time I schedule a date or time to post I experience writer’s block or life some how gets in the way, so I can’t post on the date that I want to, but eventually with a lot of stressing out and praying about it the words finally come and sometimes they don’t stop coming until I have several paragraphs. I have been told that my posts are sometimes too long so I’m working on not being so extremely long winded within my writing.

My reasons for continuing the blog have changed since I posted perspective #1. I still want to utilize and improve my writing skill, but my blog has become something that I am very passionate about because I want my words to make a difference in this world. I want my words to be thought provoking in a positive way. I have done a lot of introspective thinking in the last year & a half and I have come to feel that there is a special reason why God made me someone who can easily express what I am feeling or thinking through writing and maybe the reason is for me to be someone who makes a positive impact in this world through sharing my perspective on current events and life experiences. There are so many goals that I have for my blog that I haven’t been able to accomplish yet but I won’t stop working toward completing those goals. I think writing this blog has allowed me to experience some personal growth. I have a very small audience of readers which I’ll admit was a bit discouraging at first but I haven’t let my lack of readers deter me or give me an excuse to quit.

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I just wanted to take the time to thank everyone who has visited my blog and taken the time to read my perspective up to today. Thank you to everyone in my world who always has very encouraging words, advice and kind compliments in regards to this blog and my writing in general, your words always give me renewed faith in myself and my determination to accomplish my writing goals regardless of any obstacles I may face. Even though I may sometimes write about negative things going on in the world or negative things that we all go through in our lives, I hope you’ve read something that has made you think about life in a more positive way. I would sincerely appreciate your thoughts, opinions and suggestions about how I can make my blog better. Tell me what you would like to read my perspective on. Let me know what’s been your favorite post and the ones that you really just didn’t like. I would love to know your thoughts. If you can spare the time please email me your thoughts at  perspectivebyzena@gmail.com

I look forward to hearing from my readers. Once again thank you from the bottom of my heart for stopping by my small spot in the world wide world. Please continue to stop by for my perspective.

Zena T.💜

What Are They Thinking? #39

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:2NIV

One of the personal goals I set when I decided to create a blog and share my feelings with the world was to try and refrain from posting anything that could get me engaged in a war of words with someone who reads what I have to say and disagrees with my perspective, because I am not an argumentative person. I realize that not everyone is going to agree with my perspective on the topics that I write about, but I would prefer to agree to disagree with anyone who has an issue with my perspective.

I promised myself that I would not devote an entire post to expressing my feelings about the current administration occupying the White House, but unfortunately I just couldn’t keep that promise to myself. I really do not understand why it is that some Americans don’t want people from other countries to migrate to America. I might be totally wrong but I think if most Americans did some genealogy research on their family history even if you have to go back decades or a century there is someone in your ancestry that was not born in the United States unless you are of Native American descent, but that’s not what today’s perspective is about.

I am sure that I will never be able to wrap my mind around how or why the so called leaders of this country felt like it was alright to take children from their parents and families simply because they’ve decided that they don’t want immigrants in the United States. How did the person(s) whose mind that policy was created by not think that thousands of Americans would be outraged by such an inhumane policy. Immigrant families make the journey to America attempting to escape the harsh, violent, impoverished conditions of their native countries, they get to the states and their children are taken from them, according to information that I read some adults were deported to their home countries without their children, obviously no one thoroughly thought about how that was going to make America look or maybe making America look like a horrible place was the goal of whoever created this heartless policy. My guess is the goal was to make America look like a horrible place to live to deter people from other countries from even contemplating bringing their families to settle here and make a better life for themselves, their children and future generations of their family.

When the current occupant of the oval office was campaigning the slogan he used to attract supporters was “Make America Great Again” but so far in a year and a half all he and his administration have done is take America in the extreme opposite direction of being great. My heart aches for the small children who were taken away from their families and have yet to be reunited with them, because I am sure they have no understanding of what is going on and why they are no longer with familiar people who love and care for them. It is really an extremely sad situation. It is racism and xenophobia at the maximum level, but the much more awful part is that it is 2018 and although this was a new way to handle immigration, that type of behavior is nothing new in America. As I have stated before, the current occupant of the oval office has only emboldened others into thinking that displaying racism, xenophobia, sexism and many other repulsive beliefs is a way to make America great and it is absolutely horrifying to me to conclude that the words (tweets) and actions of one person could cause so much chaos.

I do believe that there is a reason that God allowed the current president and his administration to obtain their positions and a reason why we’re only half way through 2018 and its already become a year to remember for mostly negative occurrences. Everyday I am hoping that God will soon reveal that reason because right now I think many Americans are living in a state of confusion.

That’s just my perspective💜

No Expectations #38

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” Alexander Pope

More and more everyday I am learning to try and live life without any expectations. I have come to a place in my life where I try not to place expectations on other people, because I have learned that when you place expectations on others most times you end hurt and disappointed because the people around you are unable to live up to the expectations that you have placed on them. When I was younger I imagined what life would be like at the age that I am now but my life is completely different from how I imagined and expected it to be. Every morning when I wake up I try not to have any expectations of what is going to happen in my life because I am trying to be trusting of God and realize that regardless of what I’ve expected life to be like, God’s will, God’s plan for my life is what’s going to take place each and every day.

That’s just my perspective💜

Is Dr. King’s Dream Attainable? #37

     “We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.”.  Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 

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April 4, marked the fiftieth anniversary of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s assassination, since watching all the television coverage of the various celebrations of his life and his work within the civil rights movement I’ve been wondering if Dr. King’s dream for this country is actually attainable. Dr. King’s assassination was fourteen years before my birth so of course I can’t give a physical account of what it was like to live in the United States within his lifetime, but I think I have read enough about this country’s history and heard enough stories from all of my family members who lived during the same time to have formed the opinion that life in 2018 is somewhat similar to life 50+ years ago during the height of the civil rights movement.

There is one line in Dr. King’s now famous “I Have A Dream” speech that has always been one of my favorites since the first time I heard that speech, it’s when he says “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” Fifty years after Dr. King’s death, fifty-five years after he gave the “I Have A Dream” speech, we have come so far but still have so far to go. Unfortunately we have yet to reach a time when people are solely judged by the content of their character and the color of their skin is of no importance. I think that racism may be more prevalent today than it was before Dr. King was killed. We live in a world where people are automatically prejudged and demonized simply because they were born of a certain race. It is deeply dispiriting to realize that this country has become a place where those who are supposed to be leaders display racist and prejudice behavior on a daily basis which in turn leads others to think that it is okay to have and publicly exhibit their repugnant racist, prejudice, bigoted beliefs and behavior. It’s absolutely appalling but sadly that’s the state we are living in right now and it seems like a change is not near.

I wonder how Dr. King and many others who worked so very tirelessly for all people especially African Americans and other people of color to have some of the simple civil rights that we now have would feel not only about the condition of this country but that of the whole world. Dr. King would be in his late 80s now and I wonder if he would still be working toward achieving his dream of making this world a better place or would he have chosen someone else to pass the baton to. I wonder if we will ever learn to live together peacefully without judging one another based on our differences. It may be pessimistic of me but I am not so sure Dr. King’s dream is truly attainable. If some day this world becomes the place that Dr. King dreamed it could be I hope that I am around to witness it.

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“I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made straight and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.”  Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

That’s just my perspective💜

Why Kill? #36

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Anyone who takes the life of a human being is to be put to death. Leviticus 24:17NIV

It seems like I am always thinking and writing about things that occur in this life that I just do not understand and today’s perspective is no different. It seems like everyday there are multiple murders not only where I live but all over this world. I have not researched them but I am sure the murder statistics are staggering in all 50 of the United States. What I can’t seem to wrap my mind around is why people choose to kill others. Maybe I don’t understand because I have personally never gotten angry enough with someone or had any other reason to even think about killing someone. I think a person who will kill has completely lost all value for the lives of others as well as for their own life. People who kill must feel like they have nothing to lose. I wonder if people who murder ever consider the consequences before acting out the crime, do they think about getting caught and having to live life in prison. Do they think about how it will affect their own lives and that of their families?

My guess is that they don’t consider how it’s going to change their own lives and the lives of the people who loved the victims and are left to mourn them. Maybe there is no time to think of those things or anything else when murder is an impulsive act, but when it is premeditated I wonder what goes through the killer’s mind. I very often write about how I feel like there is a reason for and a lesson in everything that God allows to happen, all the murders that are occurring around me near and far happen to be one of those things that I have not figured out what God’s reason for and lesson in allowing multiple murders to occur every single day is. What is it that God is trying to teach us by allowing all the violent crimes that occur on a daily basis throughout this world?

In some places outside of the United States people are taught to kill from a young age because it is believed that it will in some way make them a martyr, I don’t think I will ever understand that belief or train of thought. Maybe I’ll have to do some research on those beliefs for another day’s perspective. I am sure we all know that there are even places where presidents and prime ministers are killing their own citizens for no apparent reason. It is completely senseless to me. It is not often that I personally know the names and faces of the murder victims that I hear on the television or read about online but it’s always heartbreaking to me to know that someone’s life was ended by the hands of another. I always feel such sorrow for the victims’ families as well as the perpetrators’ loved ones because I am sure it greatly affects both families.

After numerous murders occur back to back as they did recently where I live, people want to start playing the blame game, they blame the police, the mayor and other elected officials, or the perpetrators’ background, but no one ever comes up with a solution to prevent the murder/crime problem and it seems to be a cycle with no end in sight. I often wonder if there really is a real solution. Can you really stop someone from getting a gun or some other weapon and killing another with it? I guess figuring out why people choose to murder is just one item on a list of many things that I will have to keep praying about and hopefully soon God will help me to gain some understanding as to why murder happens and why it happens so much. I think it’s time to start building each other up instead of killing one another.

A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build. Ecclesiastes 3:3NIV

That’s just my perspective.💜

Don’t Let The Load Loosen The Grasp #35

07CB4A51-98F6-4D31-B4DA-4B225A746014In my last perspective I wrote about how I feel that every thing that happens in this life is all a part of God’s plan for each of our lives. I’ve been thinking about that topic a lot more in the last few weeks probably because I have been paying closer attention to everything going on in the world around me. My perspective hasn’t changed, I still feel like everything that happens to us is already pre-planned by God. My thoughts have been on how some people say that God won’t put any more on us than we can bare. Sometimes it seems like God loads people’s lives with piles of problems with no solution in sight just to see how much they can bare or maybe its to show them their own strength. Maybe God piles a million and one problems on our backs with no solution in the foreseeable future to teach us to trust him. I think in some situations and circumstances when life has piled a load of problems on our backs and we don’t know how to keep carrying the heavy load while trying to continue to walk straight and travel through this rocky journey called life, that is just the time when God steps in and shows us that we can carry any load that life piles on our backs if we always trust in him to help us. God has the solution even before we are presented with the problem, but we have to trust that he will make a way when we don’t see how it’s even possible to do so. For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Isaiah 41:13

We all experience times when we allow our right hand to slip away from God’s grasp, because trials and tribulations that come along with living life seem to be endless, those times when the devil gets his bullhorn out sticks it right in your ear and very loudly constantly reminds you of all the problems on your back so that you can not hear God saying “just trust in me.” I have experienced various health issues in my life due to having been born with a birth defect and those are the times in my life when I personally felt like God was putting more on me than I could bare, but they are also the times when I have come to realize I am much stronger than I feel sometimes. Lately when I experience those times I try to snap out of it really quickly by reminding myself that God gave me the gift of life for a specific purpose, a purpose he hasn’t shown me yet and while he is shaping me into the person he needs me to be to fulfill that purpose he has blessed me beyond measure and I can’t allow life’s problems to make me forget that. I may not have as many problems loaded on my back as many others in this world but my life isn’t an ease everyday, I have to remind myself that I know that God didn’t promise that life would be easy, he promised not to leave or forsake me and through fourteen surgeries and many other trials God still has a tight grasp on my right hand. Sometimes I loosen that grasp a bit, when I find myself asking “Lord why me?” and questioning him when I know I shouldn’t but I always get my answer, usually not right when I want it but always when I must need it.

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. James 1:12

That’s just my perspective.💜

It’s All God’s Plan #34

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Psalms 32:8ESV

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9ESV

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If you’ve read anything that I have previously written you are aware that it doesn’t take much to stir my thoughts, everyday just staying abreast of what’s going on around me keeps me in deep thinking mode and wanting to write about my thoughts.

I recently heard someone say that sometimes we mess up God’s plan for our lives. It was a statement made in reference to the mistakes and bad choices that we humans sometimes make in our lives. The statement really stirred my thoughts, because I am not sure I agree with that theory. I believe that everything that happens in our lives is all a part of God’s plan for you and me. My belief is that both the good and the bad things that happen in our lives are all part of God’s plan.

Jeremiah 29:11 is a scripture that speaks of God’s plan, it’s a scripture that I have probably used countless times within my writing because it’s one of my favorites. In the good news version of the bible Jeremiah 29:11 says, I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for. I think that from the time you are born into this world until the end of your life in this world God has your life all planned out, nothing that happens in your life is a surprise to God. There is nothing that you do that can mess up God’s plan for your life, because God knows what you are going to do before you do. We are all meant to go through everything that we do each and every day of our lives.

I have probably said this before, but I think God allows us to endure certain things because he wants us to learn something from the experience. You know, those times in life when the bad moments seem to occur in a domino effect, back to back and back again, those times when it seems you have more bad days than good and life makes you wonder just when will it get better. I’m sure most people may not look at those moments like I have come to look at them, but I feel like those moments just like my good times are all part of God’s plan. I have found that for me the bad times in life have been the moments that have most taught me to appreciate the gift of life. I know sometimes it seems we make mistakes or it seems we get off track in our lives but I believe that each and every thing that happens to us is all a part of God’s plan for you and me.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1Thessalonians 5:18

That’s just my perspective💜

Heartbreaking Moment #33

Almost two weeks ago I was in the car with my mother and two of my aunts headed to meet some other relatives and see a play at the local auditorium. While we made our way to the location of the play, as usual I was in my own introverted world, not really taking part in the conversation that my mother and my aunts were having. I was in deep thinking mode, concentrating on whatever was on my mind at that moment in time. As soon as we turned into the parking lot of our destination I quickly came out of my introverted haze, because something caught my attention, something that I don’t think anyone else in the car paid any attention to.

47AB1906-C42A-48C8-BD3C-E62D52C1EAFBThere was a man who I suspect was homeless sitting on a bench with a shopping cart next to him which was filled with what was probably all his possessions. Seeing homeless people in that part of town is not something that’s rare so I don’t know why this man caught my attention. Perhaps, it was because that night was one of those nights when the temperature was abnormally low for this time of the year in this part of the country and this man was just sitting alone there as if the cold weather was not affecting him, as a matter of fact it was as if he was completely oblivious to anything happening around him, it was a deeply sad sight.

After almost two weeks I haven’t been able to get that image out of my mind. I never shared anything about seeing this man with anyone that I was in the car with or any of my other family members that I was with that night, but the image has been weighing on my mind very heavily. That experience like a few others that I have written about is one that makes me question God, because it bothers me that I live in a world where people sometimes have no other option but to stay out in the cold and other weather conditions. I feel blessed beyond measure to have everything that God has blessed me with but at the same time I feel as though it seems so unfair that on cold nights or rainy days I have a roof over my head. I have a very nice place to call home, when there are so many people in this world who do not. I’m not saying I don’t deserve my nice home, I’m just saying it seems very unfair that all people can’t have nice homes with comfortable beds to rest on at night. In all honesty, I know I shouldn’t but homelessness is one of those things in life that makes me ask God why. Why are all people not worthy of always being blessed with a decent place to lay their heads at night? Why aren’t there enough shelters everywhere? Why do people have to go through financial hardships and lose their homes? Does God have a reason for allowing such things to happen?

I often wish that there was something that I could do to provide decent housing for every person/family in the world who needs it, starting with those in the United States, but I realize that’s just wishful thinking, I’m one person and I can’t change a worldwide problem alone. It just truly breaks my heart when I see someone who obviously doesn’t have adequate housing and for whatever reasons are living in any empty space they can find. I sincerely hope that homelessness is an issue that God allows someone to come up with a solution for homelessness while I am still alive to witness it.

“A man who lives everywhere lives nowhere.” Marcus Valerius Martial

That’s just my perspective.💜